today was devastating.. i cant believe the way my exam went... i dont think i ll even make it to pass marks, gosh!!goodness gracious.... hehe i used to joke bout qualifying to be a chhaggi(if u r nt an iitian chances are very little that u know bout what i am speaking). the open book test could easily qualify as one of the most sucking experiences of my life.now i understand why first day first class, the first words that came out of sir's jaws was-" u ll be graded relatively"
i had thought what the hell. tis an open book test ,it shall be dumb easy.. u know wat, it s a bit difficult to win over this brainfuckin feeling that s gripping me at this very moment.. i made a good smelly shit of maself....

what s in a midsem exam?....what is it that i am so worried inside bout it....actually ..when i start searchin for answers ,,, everything seems so minuscule and insignificant....

sometimes all that matters is that u let urself free....

right now creed is screaming something in my headphone..

We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there

When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice....

cheer up dude..u ve seen so much of life. deception , betrayal, love, failure, u ve had reached the very edge of the precipice.. at times...
when u could not even barely see how low u could have fallen with even one tired nerve..
this is just a mindfuckin midsem.. and i m sure u ll survive it... thats what i keep telling myself:D...
exams will come and go like they always do. but nothing should shake the pedestal on which this life stands.....
this semester was a culmination point of some of the stupidest incidents of my life... mayb this midsem will be one extra feather in that hat...but thats where it all ends...live life,live ur attitude, live every moment of joy and sorrow...and let such minute moments of weird feelings whoosh by like u never lived them, all the best to every person who s has ever found himself in my ohh-so-stupid-and-yucky postion..

I m done with
this life of an angel
If I couldn’t feel
the friction of ur skin,
All that these heights
can tell me is that
I can fall to be
One amidst the darkness
That stays inside ur lips
If u think I never can
Feel pain
As angels shouldn’t..,
Doesn’t a wound feel like
One that you left behind
Spreading inside this dermis…

I haven’t yet learnt to bleed
But the wetness that soaks
My mind , after the
Tempest lost its trails
Reminds me of something
Fluid like blood, I find the
Alleys inside me flooding..
Couldn’t ever guess
The accent grazing in ur eyes..
All that I can do
Is to read over the lines
Of my life once again..
And let faint sonorous impressions
Of shadows that passed by
Fill these empty pages
With thoughts from
The inkpot of ur memories….

Someone knocks on….
Never did I know the meaning of a feeling
That keeps bleeding inside inside as love..
May be that eyes are not always enough
Icy glances that are left behind
For the empty roads to savour..
Never did save the moment.

Perhaps I could say how it feels like
When the touch brushes aside..
Leaving these vacant places even emptier..
Though a matter of seconds
A desperate hope of evading
All warps of time
Keeps lurching in vain….

The sounds of mundane chores …
Have to win in the end..
End semesters and millions of promises
And a million more expectations…
Somehow prove their present worth
On these shoulders
That took nineteen years to build
Suddenly burying evrything else…

In a world where change is the rule
And speed is the name of every game
How could I cling to a speck of fantasy..
Only this bit of poison
Still circulating in my blood
Sometimes speaks out its existence
Reminding me of myself……

Sometimes you don’t need to reason
To listen to what your heart silently whispers to you…
Sometimes its so desperate…
That you need not find a meaning to….

When the magic silently unfolds..
Unheaping its charms on you….
When your breath desires for someone’s scent..
When u feel the need for something new…

But hands are fettered..
Inviting little evidences in the look of her eyes..
Is all I have for myself to feel anew..
Never ever just let this moment row through..

Find her smile different in more than one way today
Never thought bout it right from the start
Building up something in my heart time and again
Only to leave pieces of her falling apart….

Inside the blanket of her dreamy eyes
Wonder if she calls someone in her mind
Wonder if her voice sings for me quietly…
If only was there a way to find

Never know if these moments will be drowned..
With the flow of time and tide
Don’t care if the slice of fantasy in my dream
Is too bold to kiss my eyes…

Inner words that want to be felt..
Senses that want to be satisfied to the very sinew…
Before hearing a goodbye…
Think of her is all I can do…

Yes I’m still home
Weaving words
In your wait
Desert roads and grassy terrains
I am ignorant
Of wat u overcame to
Be smelt by my breath
Ur face reminds me of
Ur desire of not letting
Me run out warmth
Naughty smiles and hisses
Tantalize their way
Finding roads inside me
Wouldn’t u love to
Stop by the woods jus awhile
While I figure out
The undulations of ur voice
I understand u like to
See yourself float in my eyes
Inside a dream
That’s still to please
The ticking hands of time
Let me tease you
And droop down asleep
‘Tis one of those hours
When I’m drunk
Without alcohol……..

Darkness and angst is wat lurks these eyes
Answers cant I find as to why
Hazy are the ways of this life but I think…
I think there s yet lots left to deny

Hold on , I cant just stop sighing
Paradoxic spells of relief
Carry on, ur ravage in my mind
But still aint close doors of belief

And I know that all this aint make sense
Anymore, and I ve told myself more than jus once
Stalled are the sand clocks of time n I’m afraid
Blank is this heart but still it runs

And all worth sayin before words speak no more
Is that I don’t need those moments to savour
I care very little for wats in the store
Coz I am already done with ur favour

Droopin off to dreams is all left to do
But I don’t want the jingle of ur smile
To stray into that world, just do let this
Short little fantasy thrive a while

Hold on , I cant just stop sighing
Paradoxic spells of relief
Carry on, ur ravage in my mind
But still aint clos doors of belief

Tried to redeem myself as good as I could…
Wiping off worn off tunes
Letting withered leaves take care of
What was left behind….

The whispers that kept reverberating
Inside the shadows of the mahoganys….
Inside the purple coffin of peace….
Inside the ripples of saltless seas…..

Dry are my eyes today
Playing with sand dunes….
Winds will blow as seasons sway
Footprints on sand can only but refuse….

What had to perish has to….
When belief had to take the shape of but…
A string of lies..
Nevertheless it had to snap

Eddies keep hissing under the night sky
The fire of survival keeps the lamp burning
In the bedouin’s eye..keeping his hut warm
As long as night should stay in the offing

Slated to receive not the warmth
But the heat of the sun with daybreak
Tendons do feel a creaking…
Premonitions of a soulwreck..?

Life ll keep rolling its dice
Chaining to these lungs a scent
Waiting for the next spell of rain
Saving in this heart what memories had to lend…

now that spooky impulses
fill this life,
every moment sways
in its own way
of disobeying time.
jumping into bed with a new face
of circumstances every night;
waking up with a grimace
leaving all that behind....
but never let
this meter run low.
the sweet taste
of kissing a new dream
never hesitates to show...
letting these fingers
slip into the clothes
of utopian outcomes...
searching for ecstasies
erotic on their own terms...
but still so rosy
letting me move without care
for the errors that i dare
leave behind for this planet.
come what may...
never wanna let go
of the way it feels now;
that my sails are free to blow,
that i have let
the dust of memories
get forgotten off
in this breeze,
can i hear the whisper
of the runways....

yeah,perhaps its that way
when every chase
ends up searching
for futility
tried so hard
to keep track of that mind
that drifted away
leaving behind this insanity
so difficult to erase

when every way through
ends in serrated edges
where reasoning is of little use
but perhaps still worth a try
burying myself
in this grave of complexities
inviting impulses of happiness
in trains of haluccinations
but still when
silent cemeteries
and boyhood smiles
fuse inconspicuously

i can still realise
the feeling of being
far from reality
before the final spark
leaves behind the darkness
of exhaustion....

crumpled pieces of paper
torn bits of life
turn stranger to those eyes
riddled by scissorhands of fate
blind conscience accepts defeat
at the hands of distraught.....
no more of that word
to kiss the air in these lips
destinations tried to change
but the captivity of these prison ships....
who could ever escape?
who cares if it is
marijuana or cocaine
once the snort finds its way
in the rhythm of these veins
...just life never changed its view
by peeping through coloured lens...